Eulogy by Toby Chapple

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Alison Chapple was a truly extraordinary person.

 

I say that not because she is my mother, but because that is what so many of you have told us in recent days – that she is someone that we all admired, liked and often loved. 

 

In preparing this eulogy I was lucky to listen to many of you here talk about Alison; and what has become clear is that, to provide an adequate tribute, I would require a good 5 hours.

 

However my father Oliver has been explicit to me that I have no more than five minutes!...I’ll try to find the right balance….

 

I heard from those “in the know” that you’ll have a factual account of Alison’s life….from Alison herself in a short while by LIVE video link.

 

So instead of giving a detailed history of Alison’s life, I’ll try to focus on how WE in this church viewed and loved her.

 

 

Alison was undoubtedly resilient & willing to “have a go” at life, shaped by her upbringing.   Born on 26th October 1944 in Egypt, Alison was daughter to a strict but loving English parents, sister of two older brothers, with younger Lizzie to come in 1946.

 

Alison started her education as the only girl at an all-boys boarding school in Somerset, with her father the school master and later a vicar.

 

As a result she learned to fight her corner and make the best of any situation, whether it be in playing games with the boys, climbing trees or playing rugby in the mud.  She was good at sports, often beating the lads at tennis and enjoying netball during her teenage years. 

 

She managed to go to university despite various adversities, securing her degree in sociology in London, then studying for her masters at Southampton, before cutting her studies short to go to South Africa with Oliver..more to come on that later.

 

Alison’s was unwavering in her positivity (!).  Few us ever saw Alison in any despair until her final days.  She found a way to look for the best in every situation, and was often at her calmest during a true crisis.  Alison had something good to say of almost any situation and every person – something that we can all learn from.

 

Through her life, Alison was strong minded and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.  We knew where we stood for better or worse, and she broke the mould as a young woman during a more conservative time.  During her student days she lived in liberal circles and undoubtedly pushed the boundaries of convention at the time, sometimes to her parents despair.  I’ll leave the rest to one’s gossip and imagination!

 

Alison was truly beautiful.

Those who knew Alison in her younger years recount much of England’s male population chasing her hand…So no doubt, during one hot summer day in 1972, the builders of [Oundle] thought Christmas had come early!…Visiting brother David, Alison decided to go for a topless swim in the River Nene, only to discover that these builders hand a grandstand view from next door!

 

There was clearly something in the air that weekend, as it was the following days that Oliver, who lived next door to David, met and fell in love with Alison, through a chance encounter based on Oliver’s poor diary management (somethings never change).  With Oliver at a loose end, Alison saved his evening with an impromptu dinner of scrambled eggs on toast…from there grew a wonderful & enduring relationship…

 

Just 6 weeks later Alison famously went to South Africa to live with Oliver without hesitation.  Such approach reflected later family life, with a willing to take the family to Brazil, Canada, America and finally back to UK in the north of England.  She always made these moves with a spring in her step and made us all feel positive despite the uncertainties they presented.

 

Alison was hard working to say the least, rising at 5:30 am to beat the traffic to the office.

 

Such hard work gained Alison much respect

• And, having re-started her career later in life, and acquiring both Masters and PHD, Alison had 72 papers published in medical journals such as the BMJ.  This work formed the foundations of her contributions to Healthtalk.org, a website that helps suffers learn more about their illness and how to deal with it. 

• Incredibly, nearly 5 million people have now accessed this website, thus has undoubtedly had a positive impact on so so many across the country

• It is not lost on us that, having dedicated so much time helping others deal with cancer, it was Alison that ultimately succumbed to this disease

 

Throughout her new career, Alison kept the house running; ironing, cooking, cleaning, you name it, usually collapsing on the sofa around 9pm.  Alison did though love her holidays, along with the guilty daily pleasure of watching some naff TV, especially Neighbours (!), to switch off from the world.

 

 

Alison LOVED to DANCE– From the school halls of Somerset to the night scenes of Sao Paulo to the many parties held here in England…I think we all agree that Alison would find any excuse to throw parties, and fun they were!  Quite simply, she (and Oliver) dazzled us all on the dancefloor with her quick feet, natural balance and beaming smile on her face.

 

Alison was immensely committed to helping others, throughout her life.  Her first vocaction was that of a nurse at St Thomas’ hospital in London, In her later years, Alison’s selflessness again showed when she the PRIME CARER for her mother Jean, not five years ago.

 

Alison was devoted to helping young children and especially her grandchildren… and even this year she continued to attend toddler groups nearby for young Madeleine and Luna, and to read to young Myrtle, Ruby and Rafe at bed-times

 

Alison was a big contributor the the Wychwood Parish Churches, especially, and unsurprisingly, in helping with children.  Anne perhaps you may tell us more later in the service….

 

Alison was devoted to her family, and completely selfless in her concern for us all.

 

Perhaps our large yearly family house parties at Norfolk epitomised such traits best.  Alison’s cheerleading of the tennis tournaments, cajoling us young children to the beach through the wind & rain, playing rounders, large dinners in the garden and so much more– unforgettable memories that we cherish in our minds and dare not lose.

 

Brothers Tim and David described how as a sister, she always looked out for them…cooked meals, there as a friend, gave them comfort…To Lizzie, she remained a GREAT FRIEND as well as sister from youth into older age…

 

I’m sure this congregation feels that such bonds extended well beyond the family, which helps explain why so many are here today.

 

Hannah, Naomi and I could not wish for a better MUM – always positive, always helping out, cajoling, encouraging, caring for us in ways that we can all recount for years to come.

 

Finally, in talking to Oliver, he could not have had a better wife, looking out for each other as lovers, friends and companions for nearly 45 years.

 

Alison was diagnosed with Lung cancer in June last year, ironically following a fall during a dance at the Ritz.  Who knows how long Alison had the ailment; what we do know is that the doctors thought she may only be with us for a matter of weeks –  a shock to us all and especially to Alison.

 

In fact Alison had 10 treasured months with us, to celebrate life through many happy events such as Maddie’s christening, Her 74th birthday in October; Many pub lunches with friends here today; Christmas, where Mum was in tears….of laughter after we made a terrible attempt to sing naff songs around the table…and Easter most recently.

 

And of course her and Oliver’s holiday to Jamaica in February, .  Her great friends John & Debbie Taylor recount how Oliver and Alison managed to dance to the tunes of New York/New York one last, cherished time.  A fitting, wonderful, swansong to her final days

 

Right to the end, we had family gatherings….just 2 weeks ago, Alison had Sunday lunch at ours with a smile still on her face, with similar gatherings nearby at Hannah’s and Naomi’s…

 

The last days were undoubtedly hard.  She was SO lucky to have Naomi, Hannah and of course Oliver to care to well for her right until the end, when she passed away at home in peace, and with God.

 

So Alison clearly danced her way through life - fast tempo’d and full of energy; a quick step, tango, sometimes a waltz, always happy, and in doing so made the journey for others far better too.

 

From fun at the Sitio near Sao Paulo, to the adventures across North America, to the cherished moments we ALL had with Ali in the United Kingdom, and the holidays we shared across the world; we thank you for everything.

 

Mum….We will miss you dearly…

 

AMEN